My thoughts are everywhere today. So many things are running through my mind. Events and celebrations that took place, recent revelations and another round of evaluation of what life really is about.
Birthdays are special. Our birth into this world is a special and meaningful day for mothers. I used to think that birthday was just a meaningless day that happens every year and another number to add to my age. Some disturbing celebrations in the past have also made me shy away from this celebration.
My mother recently celebrated her 61st birthday *clap clap clap*. We celebrated her birthday in a Buddhist temple. As part of the group celebration for birthdays in the months of February and March, a simple prayer and chanting service was done by family members and staffs of the temple. I learned that it is a 9-month miracle and sacrifice that our mothers go through to bring us into this world. So, on birthdays, it is not only a celebration for you but also a celebration for our mothers for bringing us here. After the service, children and grandchildren of those celebrating their birthdays offered tea as a sign of respect to their elders.
My mother is in good health. She has always maintained her health with regular exercise and marathons over the years. She's doing more yoga classes now as her knees are not as strong anymore for long runs. She also recently discovered the onset of cataract in one of her eyes. For those who are unsure, the following is the definition from Wikipedia:
A cataract is a clouding that develops in the crystalline lens of the eye or in its envelope, varying in degree from slight to complete opacity and obstructing the passage of light. Early in the development of age-related cataract the power of the lens may be increased, causing near-sightedness (myopia), and the gradual yellowing and opacification of the lens may reduce the perception of blue colours. Cataracts typically progress slowly to cause vision loss and are potentially blinding if untreated.
She has already consulted some doctors on the next course of action. She needs to undergo surgery to remove the natural crystalline lens and replace it with an artificial lens that will restore her vision again. I cannot begin to imagine the fear and worry that she has of losing her vision and going under the knife at her age. We use our eyes our whole lives and to lose vision later is absolutely terrifying. The surgery's high rate of success serves to calm a little the fears.
On to another note about aging and relationships. As we get older, you will notice that there is already a decline in the number of friends that we often communicate with. Friends get married, you see less of them. They have children and you see lesser of them. You wish them best in everything and sadly, have to let go of what relationship that existed before. They are now in the "Circle of Married Friends". If you are single, you are ruled out of that circle, at least until you get married and then you are accepted again. Even so, the time apart has already cast a barrier of communication between friends. Then, you try your best to keep in touch often but at most times, have more important familial responsibilities and tasks at hand.
What now about those who are still single? Are they suppose to find new friends to replace the married ones? No one wants to be lonely. I am referring to loneliness from not having friends to communicate with, and not loneliness from not having a life partner. Loneliness is the cruelest way the hand-of-life deals you. We didn't agree to it and certainly didn't ask for it. But suddenly, WHAM! it is happening to you. If God said anything about selling your soul to attain copious amount of happiness, then I'd say, "Why not?" At least when I die, I know I've been happy for that short amount of time I'm here on earth with my loved ones, be it friends or family.
Seeing things happening, relationships drifting further away right before our eyes can be outright painful. Sometimes you wonder, is it better to stop it immediately or just let new adventures unfold with the new hopefuls? Will our personalities match? Can we get along? Will we finish each other's sentences? What I've done in the past for friends; will it still apply today? We spend so much time thinking and arguing about it, only to be surprised by the outcome every time.
But life teaches us to perservere, so we keep trying. We try to restore what we had in the past amidst the crazy schedules and dignified responsibilities. Giving up is the easiest way out and a way of telling yourself there is no way of reconnecting with old relationships again. Whichever method we take or group you belong in ("Circle of Married Friends" or "Circle of Friends"), when all is said and done, we only hope that the world has been set right again.
Cheers.
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