How much is enough?

Have I done enough? Do I want to do more? Give more?

I am referring here to matters of the heart and what I believed was a relationship but only turned out to be "companionship" for the other.

In times of adversity options may be limited. It may bring with it no solutions or answer, much less closure if that is what you seek. Insurmountable obstacles would simply result in breeding of the worse enemy within oneself, constantly fighting emotions that will only go away when one says "it is time. I am ready".

I hurt because I've allowed the person a place in my heart. State of vulnerability is not faulty as I am not a machine. But then again, no matter how many times others put us down, stomp on us, make us weak, we always pick up the pieces and stand up again. Never fully healed nor "repaired" we try to rise above it. And this makes me think that we may be machines after all.

At the risk of sounding wise...

the doer causing the hurt is also a machine. Knowing all that he's done is morally wrong, but yet continues to pursue and deceive... How does he face the world and go back to life without remorse. Repeat process without guilt. And so it is this life that we accumulate our sins.

He may not know or may not be aware of what he's done...

How does a human hurt another, over and over again without consequences, while he goes home to his family and becomes another person that pretends nothing happened. Perhaps his falling will come later in ways I may never see.

I too, admit my shortcomings and wrongdoings for continue to engage in behaviour and activities that are inappropriate. Misguided and misread all the subtle messages and actions, I actually believed the relationship was headed somewhere and outcome was reassuring.

#karma happens in mysterious ways and I know it will come bite me, and it's probably already happening.

Cheers.

Image via nownovel.com